When I moved back into my condo in early September, I vowed to take a few months and rest. No more working on the condo, getting overly involved in activities, I just wanted to take it easy. For the most part, I was successful, which is outstanding because I do not tend to rest well. Now that the calendar has turned the page to 2012 however, it is time to get up and start making things happen.
This past weekend, I had a moment of epic despair and panic. I had a guy from the Indianapolis Triumph Club come out and take a look at my 1973 Spitfire. All things considered, the car is in good shape. He recommended that I do a couple of things to improve its marketability. Following up on these very good recommendations will cost me money; money that I need to fix my condo and pay down debt. Yet at the same time, I need the car to sell so I have more money. It is quite a conundrum. Plus, the thought of finding a trailer, someone who can help me load the car and take it somewhere to have work done kind of makes my stomach turn because that will be logistically challenging.
On Sunday, after IU turned in a really horrible performance at Ohio State, I walked around my condo thinking about the remaining work that needs to be done. There is not a lot left to do, finish installing ceiling fans, putting down a new entry way, painting the half bath and buying a new vanity. Accomplishing these tasks would bring me very close to putting my home on the market. I still would need to replace my glass sliding door and doing a little work to my patio would not hurt either. Maybe it was because the IU game agitated me, but I just felt kind of helpless and tired as I evaluated the list of things that still need fixing. So much for being rested I thought to myself.
As I lamented my situation, my cat Farrah wanted to go outside. It was freezing out, but being a cat owner who tries and fails to teach Farrah about making good choices, I let her out so she could experience the consequence of being in the cold. I sat down in my recliner and continued to be bummed out. Suddenly, I heard a scratching sound. It was Farrah wanting back inside. She had never done that before. I let her in and she happily joined me on the recliner.
It occurred to me that Farrah was ready to come in when she was ready. For her, it was the right time to scratch on the door and let me know that she wanted to come inside. As for me, maybe the best way for me to feel rested, instead of stressed, is to hold on to my timetable loosely. After all, God’s timing and mine rarely match up; but he knows what is better for me than I do. Besides, trying to be patient and live life fully as I try to gain freedom by selling my car and condo will allow me to dream about what I want to do next. Perhaps private practice? Maybe leaving Indianapolis? Or possibly this is the time when I will find success on an online dating site and fall in love. I have no idea how all of this will work out, but I am certain that eventually the car will sell along with my condo. In the meantime, there is a lot of life to live and I hope that my friends will remind me of that when I stumble and get caught up in timeframes, logistics and wrongly manufacturing my own scenario of how all of this should play itself out.
Nice, Shawn. Good job, Farrah!